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Saturday 3 November 2012

Suck it and (don't) see

Notice what I've done here. I have no graphic arts talent and this is my limit. Don't deconstruct it for it is self-evidently meaningless unlike much of my prose which is only revealed as meaningless after much effort by the reader.

This is an inhaler, its benefits obscure. I was, however, seduced by its name - Ventolin. Large enterprises, and especially Big Pharma, are peculiarly bad at agreeable names. Think of Royal Mail becoming, briefly, Consignia. But Ventolin, plus previously mentioned Amoxicillin, buck the trend.

Ventolin is a euphonious (ie, pleasing to the ear) word based on a recognisable root, vent, meaning wind. But the honeymoon stops there. Using it is not intuitive. Stick the boot "toe" between your lips, breathe in and squeeze the plunger. That's the theory, except instinct stops you breathing in as you plunge. Take a week off to rectify this.

Try again. If there's a chill sensation on your tongue then you've misdirected the "toe". The particles have thus been absorbed without reaching the air-ways. Take another week off to master this skill. By this time you're well again or dead.

Moral: Don't be taken in by a nice name.

Joe né Plutarch's phone call (see previous post). He reminded me our first Blogger's Retreat lunch occurred four years ago, the day after Obama's victory. Alas, physical failings preclude me from taking an immediate rail trip. Sink or swim without us, Barack.

4 comments:

  1. I have my doubts as to whether Ventolin inhalers contain anything at all, nothing really seems to happen.

    There's a brand of French paracetamol called Doliprane, which I don't think sounds very promising. Me I'm a soluble aspirin taker, nothing else will do. Stomach ulcers? Pah!

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  2. I just bought some gloves (for winter walking). They are supposedly state of the art, windproof, waterproof and very warm, and acclaimed by many outdoories whose opinions I respect. They are called SealSkinz. Apart from recommendations, I have to admit to being “seduced” by the name; they are yet to be tested, but my anticipation is reasonably sanguine.

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  3. There was a commercial on television when I was in Japan. A burly bald man raised a glass of greenish liquid to his lips and drained it. He looked into the camera, obviously trying hard not to make a face and then demanded another glass. It was an ad for a vile-tasting health drink, but the message was "it works!" I'm sure the name sounded musical and alluring.

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  4. The generics for Ventolin don't work for me and, in fact, make things worse, plus they taste vile (good word, that).

    Fortunately, if I use my corticosteroid inhaler (Pulmicort over here) regularly, I very rarely need a rescue inhaler.

    Hope you feel better soon, RR.

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