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Tuesday 6 August 2013

And now? Silk undies!

Normally, I wallow in shabby clothing. But quite soon I'll need something smarter. A jacket. Google will help me out. Oh no, Google won't.

There's terminology. What I need, says Google, is a blazer. Quelle horreur! Brass buttons, smooth navy material, a fake coat-of-arms on the breast pocket. I hate blazers. But jackets are now called blazers. Live with it.

Then there's size. Three too-small blazers acquired online have already been returned. It seems 48R is not an implied chest measurement it's merely a numerical grade, as with women's stuff. ("I really need a 14 but I can squeeze into a 12.") The hell with online.

Symonds in Hereford is a men's outfitter. A sixtyish man, showing an inch of cuff, welcomes me. Gets the size right, offers me an almost black tweed. Too dark, too dull. "Oh no, it's a green mix." Out on the street I see he's right. "It's what you wear with it that counts," he adds.

And what about the red satin lining? My dear! The price is enormous but there's a sale on and it's down 40%. With the "savings" I buy light blue trousers to which Symonds will attach buttons for my braces. VR, who's paying, purrs with approval. Online? Mainly for midgets who are into leather.

Note the curve of the lips. A perfect croquet hoop.

WIP Secondhand (née Hand Signals) (Over the 20,000-word barrier)
Francine stood up. “I’m fascinated but you’ll have to talk while we prep.”

As they put on their blues Chinelo said, “I envy you your hair. I’ve read references to corn-silk but never seen it. It floats and flops, virtually a blonde hologram. And when you put on your cap it’s entirely contained. Unlike this wiry black hedge of mine that cannot, just cannot be controlled.”

5 comments:

  1. What's the occasion? Book-signing tour or French lessons graduation?
    Your choice is fitting for both.

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  2. Is it mandatory to call jackets blazers? Where is it written? Who decides.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I lost focus at the buttons and braces. Very nice. And lookin' gooooood.

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  4. Ellena: If we were Scottish it would be described as a gathering of the clans. I dare say one of us will toss the caber. Nice of you to flatter me with your earlier suggestion but yesterday I got this:

    "We are sorry to say that neither of your novels is something we would feel 100% confident of being able to handle successfully.

    However, there are as many opinions as there are agents and publishers, so we wish you all success in finding suitable representation elsewhere."


    Methinks there will be others.

    Joe: Mandatory? If you're searching for sports jackets that's the heading you have to use. Try "jackets" and the majority turn out to be those things which zip up at the front. The influence might well be Ameican.

    RW (zS): We've had this one before, you and I. For braces read galluses, although there is a commoner word in the US which escapes me for the moment. They are a vital part of my wardrobe; they help me stay legal

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  5. Is it 'suspenders' or 'bretelles'?
    Larry King knows how to dress smart.

    ReplyDelete