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● Plus my novels, stories, verse, vulgar interests, apologies, and singing.
● Most posts are 300 words. I respond to all comments/re-comments.
● See Tone Deaf in New blogger.


Thursday 28 June 2018

Everything about it is appealing...

Larry Lion’s showbiz career was down the toilet. He called his agent, Chas Cheetah, and said “Make ‘em love me again”. Chas sent out tasteful, deckle-edged cards:

Fun and drinks on the High Veldt.
Come to Larry’s Conversazione.
Meet the elite fleet. High moon. Dawn

Actually Chas didn’t know Conversazione from his ass, had wanted “Fatted calf.” But feared it would put off The Gazelles whom Larry had chased (unsuccessfully, obviously) in his youth. The Gazelles, a timid lot, scented blood – their blood – and refused. A Tofu Buffet at the Gnu Grand was their excuse.

No problem with the location – The Mud Waterhole – but Larry would sing. His voice was rough and his choice of song, Food, Glorious Food, didn’t help. A herd of elands, ever party poopers, drifted away, then Hank Hyena and Wally Warthog fought to the death in an argument about casting in the TV series, Game of Bones.

Larry found himself alone and starving, wondering whether to eat his faithful agent. But knew ever since their college days Chas could outrun him. Might even sneak round behind and turn him into lion tartare. Companionably they snacked on what was left of the starters, mainly Meerkat Bits, and Chas was disposed to advise.

“Age is the problem, Larry. When your mane gets shabby so do your ratings. And hair inserts just don’t cut it. But I have an idea.”

“Wha’s that?” asked Larry
.
“Animation, but with your voice. Back to your glory days. Standing on rock bluffs and roaring.”

Outraged, Larry – just for form’s sake – chased Chas and saw him disappear over the horizon. By the time the movie came out Larry had lost all his teeth and was being fed pobs in a Berlin zoo. His successor on the veldt was called Kevin.

4 comments:

  1. A wonderful bit of fantasy! Poor Larry.

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  2. One little remark about wolverines and off you go!

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  3. Crow/Marly: All my posts - including those that fail for being over-serious - are to a greater or lesser extent works of imagination. Style itself is the outward show of imagination. Just for once I decided to come out of the wood-shed and cavort, naked to the glancing winds of public disapproval.

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  4. I was not objecting to frolic! Please feel free to cavort in words!

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