But does the original charge stick? Isn’t old age a time to accept what one is or was, warts and all? I checked snobs’ websites and found "an expert or connoisseur in a given field (who condescends) toward, or is disdainful of, those who hold other opinions or have different tastes regarding this field."
The list of fields didn’t include Motorbikes or Technology but did offer Culture in General. Shoot for the moon, I told myself. And there was a ten-point checklist. A CiG snob must have:
● Read The Man Without Qualities (better still Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften)● Visited the Tate and ignored the Turners.
● Listened voluntarily to A Quartet For The End of Time.
● Owned at least one pair of silk underpants.
● Laughed twice during L'Année Dernière à Marienbad.
● Driven a 2.4 Jaguar before the first Morse book was written.
● Drunk a twenty-year old vintage of any two of The Big Five (Latour, Margaux, Haut Brion, Lafite, Mouton-Rothschild) preferably at someone else's expense.
● Said that snails eat better than frog's legs
● Danced with a millionaire's daughter and reckoned the experience "banal".
● Known what l'aïeule means and been able to pronounce it.
The hugely pro-French bias seemed appropriate given this was a test for English snobs. I started ticking off the list with growing interest.
Tell you what: I’ll tell you my score if you tell me yours