I am moved by Lady Percy 's expression of love. CLICK HERE - see if you agree.
Otherwise my novels, short stories, verse, family, music, memories, vulgar interests, detestations,
responses, apologies. I hold posts to 300 words* having found less is better than more.
I re-comment on comments and re-re-re-comment on re-re-comments.
* One exception: short stories.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Keeping my hand in

I'm associated with projects other than writing fiction. Here's part of my busy world.

"GO OUT and prune the alder and the fancy willow," said VR. "Winter's the best time."

I took advice from Hermann Goering’s monumental Scorched Earth Gardening and you see the result.

VR inspected my work (top of page) and said, "You can never over-prune a tree. But in any case what does a new sapling cost?” 

LOOKS like a remote control, doesn't it?  What makes it different is it handles Region 1 DVDs  (ie, America only). I haven't tried it yet, I'm still waiting for my first Region 1 disc.

This Christmas we thought we'd investigate Stephen Sondheim musicals, typically Follies, A Little Night Music, Sunday in the Park With George, Into the Woods. They're said to have to have egghead appeal. Trouble is most aren't sold in Europe (Region 2) and our expensive DVD player won't play Region 1 discs. I'm dubious but the remote only cost a tenner. Let you know.

CRAFT has a special meaning applied to decorative items made in wood: imperfect. To elaborate: inappropriate raw materials, crude design, inexpert execution, garish finish.

VR bought our house number in ceramic tiles a year or two ago while in Leiden, Holland. The tiles languished since we had brass numbers on the front door. But the door disappeared when the double-glazing was upgraded. We needed identity.

The tiles are mounted on a wooden plaque which should be rectangular but isn't. It is badly finished, the tiles aren't centred (in fact can't be), paint was applied via the car-crash method. Typical RR DIY. How Sir Hugh will moan.


  1. You have somehow contrived to reduce the size of the photo so it wont enlarge on clicking so I can't see the imperfections you refer to.

    I'm surprised you haven't commissioned Gormley or someone similar to sculpt one for you.

  2. Such vegetation thrives on abuse and brutality, fear not.

    Good luck with the Region 1, and with the Sondheim, I didn't know all it took was a special remote.

  3. You are hysterical(ly) funny.

  4. Sir Hugh: I'm sorry about the non-zoom. But do you think you could have improved on my self-condemnation - in as few words?

    Lucy: As well as Goering I am assisted spiritually by St Monty Don. He's a man the camera loves, as I do. Luckily he's not preaching UKIP policies.

    I still haven't got a Region 1 disc to prove the pudding though Ebay assures me that Seven Samurai, which I bid for and won from a vendor in Bradford (Could it be an augury?) is in the post. The remote converts the player to Region 1 without affecting its other abilities. The procedure appears simple and I'm attracted by the opportunity to convert anything. I have hands I inherited from my Baptist minister grandfather and they are terribly suited to laying on. Nevertheless I may leave the procedure to one of the younger generation as a Christmas treat.

    Stella: I'm aware of hysterically and I thank you for what I take to be a compliment. However no one has ever explained Funnygrams, or whatever they're called, and I cannot be sure hysterically) means the same thing. But then I reflect on your warm-heartedness and I accept that judgment as well, knowingly or not.

  5. Reminds me that I really must get outside to prune the prolific birch tree in the middle of the lawn (when the continual rain stops).

    If you consult Google there are usually ways to programme any DVD player to accept any region - just a case of entering the right number sequence at the right point for permanent conversion. I did mine, but with your new toy you hopefully won't have to.

  6. As a PS - although your images will not enlarge (why?)you seem to have the same bell push as I - mine is "wireless".