For sixty-two years VR fed me. A year ago illness descended; since then I’ve fed her. Not with any distinction, I should add. Luckily she is an utterly uncomplaining diner and I fear I’ve got away with culinary murder.
I’d like to say I’ve cooked for her but that would be a gross fib. More precisely I’ve – sort of – prepared food. And when I’m sure I’ve served something that doesn’t visibly make her gip I tend to repeat it. Over and over.
If this sounds heartless, the alternative is unthinkable. Two days ago I did a mushroom-based stir-fry with boned chicken thighs to give it relevance. One sears the chicken, doesn’t one? I asked. VR nodded. However the maximum tolerable gap between “seared” and “over-seared” is measured in milliseconds. A whiff of conflagration sent my heart into my boots. The underneath of a test piece of chicken turned out to be jet black And oh, oh, so bitter to taste. Yet VR ate her portion stoically and in silence.
I can’t pretend I enjoy turning out meals. For one thing I always forget to retrieve stuff from the freezer in good time. This results in lengthy experiments with the microwave’s Defrost function suggesting it would be more productive if I simply breathed on the mini-iceberg.
Also I’m continuously harassed. Meals are all about time’s wingèd chariot and its speeds are variable. I try to imagine the degrees of synchronicity that would be needed to bring a full roast dinner (Rare beef, roast potatoes, green beans, sprouts and gravy.) to the table – simultaneously and properly cooked. Syncope just around the corner.
Plus, of course, guilt. VR has performed such tasks over six decades with great skill. Pro-tem I’m spending more on our mutually shared wine cellar.
Timing may not be everything when it comes to meal prep, but it’s essential. My wife has hundreds of recipe cards ( hand written, by her) and knows tons more about sauce making and baking than I do - but she could never sauté a piece of fish and boil pasta for the same meal without one or the other turning out a disaster. So she bakes, makes soups (really, how can one fail at soup?) and I do the stuff that requires an instinct for timing as opposed to reliance on timers. As for defrosting - I hate the microwave. Good hot tap water in a large vessel will work as well, and I’ve even taken to putting that vessel over a low burner. More foresight is better of course, and more energy efficient - that slab of meat that will take three days to thaw in the refrigerator will give the fridge’s mechs a rest.
ReplyDeleteMikeM: I need to do my best for VR but there's no way I can enjoy preparing meals. The world seems full of enthusiasts but all I can see is the drudgery. On top of this VR has very little appetite anyway and is quite happy with an unvarying diet. To tell the truth I too am losing my interest in eating anything that involves "stages" of work.
DeleteMy one triumph is the resurrection of the toasted-cheese sanwich maker whose end-product VR loves. I must confess I am charmed by the way three humdrum forms of food ("Junk" sliced bread, grated cheese and butter) are magicked into something that is quite "other".
Food is quite popular among lefties and I realise my antipathy towards its inner workings will do my political credibility no good at all. That I will become a pariah. Che sera, sera
When my dad had to start cooking, I shuddered, as his method was to thaw a huge portion of meat---cook it and eat it for a week. UGH. I began bringing meal portions of items to the house, controlled sodium, and fat, and trying to appease his inability to taste certain things. It is never easy, but like all things the internet is a HUGE source for healthy, easy, and detailed recipes. You almost have to adapt it as a 'challenge' or a new 'hobby' in order to get successful, even if it is annoying! Hugs, Sandi Tip: balsamic vinegar (tiny dash) improves anything, as well as lemon juice as an enhancer instead of salt. Fresh anything is the best, be it herbs or vegetables. Roasting with a timer on the stove or toaster is pretty good for not burning stuff, and one tray can cook everything. Less clean up or standing and watching it.
ReplyDeleteSandi: Throughout our married life VR cooked inventively and competently and I enjoyed what she put before me. Theoretically the rest of my life should be devoted to achieving the standards she set but that would be a bit like expecting her to suddenly start using Quark Express to fashion the pages of a magazine. The word "recipe" is almost as big a turn-off as the word "Trump".
ReplyDeleteI realise that culinary antipathy is going to lose me a lot of friends but, alas, preparing - as opposed to eating - eggs mornay (my favourite dish) holds no more attraction for me than shovelling holes in the garden and watching the earth sliding back into the hole I have just dug.
Ironically I was warned that learning to sing would not be easy and so it has proved. Yet I embrace its difficulties with the same eagerness that certain Asiatics show when walking over a bed of glowing coals.
Smiles!
DeleteThe following comment from Sir Hugh, appropriate to this post, ended up via the vagaries of Blogspot, as a comment to another post. I have transposed it. RR
ReplyDeleteI use those boneless chicken thighs a lot - suggestion:
Use a medium sized Pyrex lid. I use two rashers of bacon for each thigh and usually have the two as one portion for me.
Lay two rashers of bacon half on and half off the Pyrex and the same again with the other two rashers.
Trim any fatty bits of the thighs with scissors.
Place each thigh onto its respective two rashers and wrap the bacon over the thighs.
Microwave a baking potato 2mins. 20 seconds., or two potatoes for two people say.
Put a dribble of oil on the potato and some salt. Place on a baking tray along with the pyrex and thighs. Bake for 30 mins in a hot oven (200+) or perhaps ten minutes longer if you like things crispy.
To serve cut potatoes in half and daub with some butter. Whilst it is cooking you could bring some frozen peas to a simmer for say 2 minutes shortly before the chicken is finished and serve with the chicken or use any other veg.
This is my re-comment to the previously misplaced comment of Sir Hugh, now positioned above where it belongs.
ReplyDeleteSir Hugh: I am surrounded by cook books but am not tempted open a single one. I realise that VR's illness has brought about an ironic revelation: that I am as much attracted to preparing food as I am to digging holes in the garden. That I can only enjoy food that I haven't prepared. As it happens lack of exercise means VR has very little appetite and insists small amounts of simple stuff will suffice. A couple of days ago I asked what she would really like and she replied: "A boiled egg with bread and butter soldiers." Even this proved to be more difficult than I expected since it is her practice to start the process in cold water, completely at odds with my Neanderthal attitude towards boiling eggs and which throws the timing all to cock.
I appreciate your efforts to do something more entertaining with chicken thighs. but the phrase "bake for 30 min" caused my teeth to grate. Good cooks can occupy themselves elsewhere during such periods but I am always on edge, feeling I should be close to the stove to forestall potential disasters. So it's 30 minutes out of my life and these days I cannot afford to be profligate with time.
For more on my culinary philosophy - only recently formulated - see my re-comments to MikeM and Sandi.
Uncle Robin, I have read your blog for some time & have been saddened to see the health issues that both you and Aunty Veronica are struggling with. I know that a lot of (sewage filled) water has passed under the bridge since I used to spend time with you all in Linden Crescent, but I just wanted to say that those were some of the best times I ever had. I wish you both all the very best and send a big hug. Carolyn x
ReplyDeleteCarolyn: Something of a Folkestone first! I should point out that the above post is entirely self-centred on my part. I'm not my wife's sole chef. I receive a good deal of regular culinary support from my daughters and even from my elder grandson who has become a very competent and adventurous cook. All allow me more time to read The Guardian and to recharge my French vocabulary.
DeleteI've been out of touch with blog world for a number of weeks. I'm trying to catch up with the blogs I like. I congratulate you for your cooking and prep efforts on VR's behalf. Some people actually enjoy cooking, but I think most just do what they have to in order to eat and feed their family. My husband was a professional baker, cook, and cookbook author. He does most of the main meals and thinks very little of it. I'm making bolognese today and I have not enjoyed one minute of it. However, I'm telling myself the end result will be worth it. We'll see. For the two meals a day where I must take care of myself, I often make steamed oatmeal with peanut butter. Or put frozen fruit in before I steam it and then put walnuts and yogurt on top. It is like a sundae, and is very little effort. I don't even cook it. I boil water in the microwave and pour it over oatmeal in a bowl (with either peanut butter or frozen fruit), cover it with a dish, and wait about 15 - 20 minutes. You probably hate these helpful ideas. But still, I go on.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, timing a large meal requires organization skills, and a lot of stress. Sometimes for a couple of days beforehand. And if you have company, one also has to clean the house. Sheesh.
DeleteColette: Very courageous of you. Suggesting you aren't all that keen on cooking - almost like spitting in church.
ReplyDelete