I am moved by Lady Percy 's expression of love. CLICK HERE - see if you agree.
Otherwise my novels, short stories, verse, family, music, memories, vulgar interests, detestations,
responses, apologies. I hold posts to 300 words* having found less is better than more.
I re-comment on comments and re-re-re-comment on re-re-comments.
* One exception: short stories.

Friday, 19 April 2013

You never knew you had it

This sonnet is obscure and clumsy. But it was never intended to be elegant, poetic or inspiring. It was, however, intended to be unique and may be a first. It celebrates power-assisted steering, now a standard feature on most cars.

Why did I write it? Because I once bought a sporty car that lacked PAS and regretted it from day one. Couldn’t park the bugger.

Under an extroverted silver shell,
Close to the engine’s eager energy,
Two motors, resting, wait to hear the call
From my inadequate anatomy.

Not yet! At lethal speeds as passenger,
I loll, supplying nothing else but weight.
Later and slower, as its director,
I try to tackle its uncertain state.

The car when ambling needs my sensate brain,
To guide its tyres along slow clinging ways,
But motorless it works against the grain
And racks my arms with frictional delays.

An old man’s aid these motors happily
Delete time’s wear and add avidity.

WHATIZZIT? We were shopping for a pedestal mat in Dunelm, a soft goods store that causes me to yawn uncontrollably whenever I pass through its automatically controlled doors. At the checkout was a 99p impulse-buy – a toothpaste tube economiser. Slip it on and slide it up. It appears to work. I thought it deserved publicity


  1. Hey! We use the same brand and version of toothpaste! How about that?

    I enjoyed reading your sonnet; going back for another pass at it.

  2. The last two lines of your sonnet describe my electric bike perfectly!
    The electric power steering on our new-bought Fiat Panda even has a button for "parking mode" which enhances it to such an extent you can twirl the steering wheel with one finger - excessive, I think.
    (I see I have to enter the word "infirm" to prove I am human - appropriate!

  3. I must find that pink gadget. I roll the tube up as it empties and clip it put. Unfortunately it gets to fat and the clip slides off it. I remember tubes that could be rolled much easier and did not need a clip.
    Happy Birthday RR. May your pinky stay pink for ever.

  4. I should have said "While the moving finger writes, may it write for ever".

  5. The Crow: Parts of the sonnet were re-written, possibly as you were re-reading it. You may have found this confusing, but it is now very slightly better.

    Avus: The easiest cars to park were the great long ones I occasionally drove in the USA. This was because their PAS was exceptionally high (low?) geared - five turns from one extremity to the other.

    Ellena: This clip cannot slide off; as I say it seems to work. Whence my birthday? It's not until August. Your wishes thankfully received nevertheless.

    The hands were my wife's.

  6. The sonnet does read better, Robbie. Your editing made it better than I thought it needed - sign of a good writer.

  7. The Buick has sprung a power steering fluid leak. I am back to lifting my 15-pound dumbbells every other night just in case.

  8. The Crow: My only rule of thumb: spend at least as much time on the revision as on the initial draft.

    RE (zS): The sporty car I refer to was a "breathed on" VW Golf (called a Rabbit I believe in the US). The tyres were almost 1 ft wide: terrific handling but parallel parking was a misery. Sorry about your travails.