I am moved by Lady Percy 's expression of love. CLICK HERE - see if you agree.
Otherwise my novels, short stories, verse, family, music, memories, vulgar interests, detestations,
responses, apologies. I hold posts to 300 words* having found less is better than more.
I re-comment on comments and re-re-re-comment on re-re-comments.
* One exception: short stories.

Thursday, 12 December 2013

The verdict: Could do better

The Suit re-examined 
END OF STORY NOW RE-WRITTEN
The unread story does not exist. Combine The Suit with your reaction and the result is yours. Others (including me) may react differently and that combination will be theirs (mine). There are no experts, no exact conclusions.

Writing for me is fun. Nothing more. I aim to entertain myself, anyone else is a bonus. Also a delight.

A man, sleeping rough in London, requires more body insulation to keep heat loss at bay. He discovers insulation which makes him more socially acceptable, thus able to share the interior warmth of buildings. Even a bank, albeit briefly. Along the way he must tell lies. When eventually challenged he admits his appearance is mildly fraudulent. But his challenger may or may not be all she seems.

Some readers ask for more. This is gratifying but more is not my job; it's the reader's. My job, as I see it, is to arrive at a point where I'd like to read more but, since I shan’t write more, I'll have to use my imagination. As must all readers.

Arriving at that point is tricky. Conciseness is vital (it’s a “short” story) but the journey should be interesting. Should you take advantage of someone who is grief-stricken? How do you trim your own hair? How do you legitimise your seat in a bar without spending money?

On the other hand do we need to know why this person is on the streets? The choice lies between detail that propels the story and that which decorates it. Far harder than it sounds.

Yes, the end is c--p. I'll alter it (keeping to the sub-1000-word limit) and let you know. You don’t have to read it again. Like Shostakovich I’ll simply be responding to just criticism.

7 comments:

Blonde Two said...

Well I just logged on especially to read it again. I think I may have gone over to talk to Mr Suit in the bar myself. I liked his style and can wear most coats easily.

In my head, this ends with a much younger woman and an unconventional friendship.

Joe Hyam said...

A story about writing a story and reading it. You are beginning to let your hair down. Now all you need to do is stop fussing about definitions and limits.

Sir Hugh said...

This guy falls in with my own self recommendation to "make things happen". It's difficult say why, but he comes across as a decent type. The word "upright" perhaps, and herseems to be polite with his conversation.

Roderick Robinson said...

All: I'm not sure whether any of you re-read the newer version. You may change your opinions.

Joe: I fear this story was all about definitions and limits.

Blonde Two said...

So I got to read it again twice tonight and have now come to the conclusion that I need to buy a more expensive coat in case I happen upon a chap with a smart suit and a nearly empty glass of wine.

Bravo!

mike M said...

"You don't have to read it again." Very funny.

Roderick Robinson said...

B2: Except he's now moved up a notch (intellectually). You'll find him at the Wigmore.

MikeM: Snap.