About twice a year The Good Fairy appears in my dreams. The Good Fairy – GF – let’s call her Guffie - belongs to a severe period of austerity after WW2. When children’s books were vaguely and badly drawn and colour was used sparingly.
She isn’t much to look at. Her pink blob of a head lacks hair and a face. Her legs are even more attenuated, ending in points with no feet and resembling pink sticks of celery. She wears an anonymous long-sleeved white blouse and what was then called a gym skirt, made from compressed zig-zag material similar to the lungs of a piano accordion.
But looks aren’t everything. Guffie appears in dreams when I’m often at my lowest and needing support. She is, after all a young woman, and welcome for that. She speaks softly and encouragingly and her hands – if she had hands instead of sharp points – are used in supplication. Occasionally she has hair, mouse-brown and fine as spider’s web, and this is an especial bonus.
Her greatest asset is that she is willing to share my company. And by implication forgive me for the sins of my adolescence which were manifold and extreme. I infer she goes back into my history though this is never discussed. Her non-existent face carries a gentle – if non-existent – smile. And yes, I know this is hard to follow but this is how it is, I’m not aiming for the Booker Prize.
I’m grateful I have Guffie. She is prescient and knows when to arrive. Over Christmas I was ill and cast down, She was absent then because she has only psychological skills, nothing medical. Perhaps in March some time. I get the feeling she’s read my novels, even those as yet unwritten.
We all need a Guffie, though I never knew of such a creature. I'm very glad for to have her in your life.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to have a Guffie in your life and dreams. I think we all need a Guffie.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I don't know why, exactly, but I just do. Is that okay?
ReplyDeleteCrow: Guffie is not exactly "in my life", just one of the few regular characters who crop up in my dreams. What makes her unusual is that her appearances are always beneficial.
ReplyDeleterobin andrea: Again, just in my dreams. VR might object if Guffie walked in through the door. I wish I could prescribe her for the rest of the world's dreamers but I wouldn't want to over-work her.
Colette: Serious matter, this. You're admitting to inarticulacy yet I know from your blog (and for that matter from your comments) that this is not the case. I wouldn't want to intrude but I can provide a specific (Ten Rules for The Tongue-Tied) which works every time, but there is a cost. In your case, and given your address, I'd cut it down to one healthy alligator capable of giving me wrestling lessons.
But, dreams are a part of your life. Perhaps I should have been a bit more precise, dear pedant?
ReplyDeleteIf you benefit from her appearances, if you incorporate what she brings to you via the dreams, then, by default and regardless of her non-corporeality, Guffie is in your life.
She could have been a head-cold.
I have a lovely excuse for not using my brain yesterday, but I'm sure you wouldn't fall for it. Okay, let me rattle this fragile brain a bit and see what falls out. I like this because it is unusual, and unlike most of your writing. I don't know if it is true or whimsy, and there is a little girl who lives inside me who wants it to be true. She is delighted by all things GF. I'll still be grateful for the whimsy if that's all it is. I wonder why she doesn't have a face. That seems unfair, but perhaps there is an important reason? I guess I should really google her and try to find out if she is a real cartoon, or some unconscious unresolved emotional theme that haunts you. How can this be anything but fun?
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to figure out how to ship you an alligator.
And when I say I like it because it is different than what you usually write, that doesn't mean I like it better or don't like your other posts. I do. I just enjoyed seeing something so unexpected.
DeleteBoth: the Comment deletion facility isn't working. It may be an omen.
ReplyDeleteCrow: "Conscious" life then. And I'm not ruling out the possibility she didn't arrive as a head-cold.
There are days I wake up and all I've got is my pedantry to keep me warm. Pity me.
Colette: The whole point about dreams is that they don't have to have reasons. Guffie hasn't a face; at the time I may have lacked a moral sense. And a pair of Marks & Spencer underpants.
The difference you spotted is one of style. I reserve the right not to speak with just one voice, even though it can make things difficult. Changing one's style is not like changing one's PJs (which, by the way, I'm still wearing; it's early, and outside it's dark and frosty, very un-Floridian).
I welcome any response except the one used by the very lazy whereby some people leave behind a mere symbol - (o) - to show they've read the post. Not terribly reassuring.
And it's not mandatory to like what I write. Parts of me, as Crow would confirm, are distinctly unlikeable. It's inevitable that this might show up from time to time. To be unexpected is to write; to write what's expected is to be predictable. A bit like a telephone directory and whatever happened to them?
I like it too.
ReplyDeleteYou must have done something right to be awarded a dream Guffie when you need one. I wonder if there's still time for me to get in the queue? Does one have to apply or are the judges strictly extra-sensory?
ReplyDeleteNatalie: You've got to remember that Satan often hands out gifts so that he may take them back at a time which will cause greatest misery.
ReplyDeleteI didn't apply for Guffie but there's a strange sensation whenever she appears. It's as if she's filling in a hole I've been aware of. Meeting a need.
My recommendation: dream more optimistically.
I'm a cup-half-full type and optimism is my preferred position. The Guffies whether in dreams or waking life are always benevolent. Satan doesn't understand them and it's mutual. Give my regards to your Guffie next time you see her and ask if she happens to have an unemployed sister.
DeleteNatalie: I'm disinclined to make such sweeping statements about Satan. In my experience he responds viciously to provocation.
DeleteTwo things why Guffie might not be satisfactory and/or available for you. She's badly drawn, as I make clear; this may be counter to all your instincts. And on the occasions I meet her I don't initiate things, I'm at a low ebb and fit only to receive her gifts then mumble my gratitude. I might just about pass on a note regarding your needs but then there's pencil and paper to consider and I'm usually not in a practical frame of mind.
I fear the daylight, awake you is planning a downward turn in March...
ReplyDeleteYour dream girl is a Good Fairy? She's a quite saint-like creature, isn't she? Or something more. "As if she's filling a hole I've been aware of. Meeting a need."
Nun-like, she wears a plain uniform and sometimes "hides" her hair. It appears to be wrong to portray her face in a detailed way. GF is an uncomplaining but suffering creature in her portrayal, denied proper limbs and physical beauty... almost denied being an image at all. And yet she owns and generously wields beautiful abilities to encourage, supplicate, forgive your sins, and know your own creations even before they are written. Wisely, your Guffie comes in a form that you will accept and welcome. She knows and loves you, both in the past and in the future. She brings light in the dark.
Some dreams are so telling...
p. s. Material for a poem?
ReplyDeleteMarly: If I were limited to a single adjective, saintly would probably suffice. But her qualities and characteristics are savagely pared down and she resembles no one living I'm aware of. She has over-simplified herself (physically - as I describe - as well as attitudinally); real humans are much more complex. She is, I suppose, my familiar.
ReplyDeleteA handful of beneficent gesture entirely devoid of self.
No poem. This was a concentrated exercise in prose style and I feel I've said all there is to say about her. I could elaborate on the effects she has had on me but that's an option of diminishing interest.