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Saturday, 1 December 2012

Stuff your ears, I'm ranting

You have the perfect draining rack? Fibber!

Unless you had it made specially and even then I doubt you.

No kitchen device faces so many conflicting demands, even when you reduce the crockery range to an artificially minimal three: cups (or mugs), side plates, dinner plates.

Take those slots. Plates are thinnish, right? Surely 7 mm is enough? Wrong! Dinner plates have ridges underneath and you need about 12 mm. So, fewer dinner plates can be stored and – worse – the side plates drop through. Then there are plate diameters. The stainless steel rack (above) was bought believing that simpler would be better. But the splayed angle is insufficient to support dinner plates.

Cups/mugs. Four will eat up all your rack space. So add another level (see the white rack). Alas! I notice VR removes her bone-china mug when she sees it on the upper level and surreptitiously dries it with a tea towel. I could go on. But it gets much worse when we consider bowls.

Talk not about dish-washers. Their owners are zealots, ideologues and pedants, quite capable of running blogs entirely devoted to this subject.

BOOKMARKS Both of us use ABE books and VR reads about four library books a week. Thus we are in receipt of lots of un-chosen bookmarks. Some of dubious taste although I hasten to say this doesn’t include Joe nĂ© Plutarch’s patented and self-decorated markers, much appreciated.
Dubious taste? Surely I’m a grievous offender myself and am disqualified from pontificating on such a matter. But how about the inset? Perhaps you are too young or too forgetful to link the line drawing with one of the words. Does the date November 22, 1963 jog your memory? Wouldn’t buy from this lot. A joke? What’s funny?



  1. Twas the building from which the sniper, allegedly, shot JFK, but I don't see what's funny.

  2. I'm not to young to remember either. Must it be a joke or is it just a reminder or does it try to say that the shooter aimed at a zero?

  3. Sir Hugh/Ellena: This outfit calls itself a book depository which isn't a term I've heard used in Britain. The only one I've ever heard of was in Dallas. They have then compounded their decision by using the sniper image. You will note I wrote; A joke - question mark. Meaning was this intended as a joke? Then I wrote: What's funny - question mark. Implying nothing at all. None of this appears to be coincidental.

    Draining racks beckon.

  4. As it happens I have been producing bookmarks by the score from the off cuts of this year's Christmas card which I have been printing.

    I am tempted to comment on dish racks, dish cloths and washing-up machines but, in view of incipient passions, feel that the better course if you will forgive the idiom is to dry up on the subject.

  5. My kitchen is the one area of my house where I try to be minimalist so a draining rack does not feature.

    Dare I mention that I have a dishwasher?

    You may feel smug to learn that similar problems of racking widths and accommodation problems occur inside that machine, similar to the ones you describe for your rack(s).

  6. Joe: Thought I might tempt you out with a subject second closest to your heart. But then I thought again. I know you cook, but do you wash up? If so you're quiet on the subject. Testing my memory to bursting point I don't seem to recall a dish rack in your holy of holies.

    Sir Hugh: What gets me is the boiling desire among dishwasher owners to proselytise. I'm not trying to convert people to manual washing-up (born, in any case, out of an obsession with clearing away all miserable tasks ASAP) but The Dishwasher Junta can't leave it alone.

    I'm well aware of the shortcomings of dishwashers as you know because we own one. At Christmas and other festive occasions I have occasionally watched as Darren - a master of this machinery - fiddles about trying to fit it all in. And then I pass on to Hegelian heights.