Sonnet: The Pragmatist’s Prayer
Oh Lord, preserve us all from those who write,
Who glory in overt loquacity,
Whose self-abuse, hand-driven, blocks the light
That shines from plumbing's greater honesty.
Regard the waste pipe's simple unity,
See how it carries merde from here to there,
Then look at this corrupted minstrelsy
Adrift from zero on the way to – where?
Within all work syntax cannot compete
With solder’s certainty in fixing things,
Where olive joints – so apt, so neat –
Link taps to souls and gives them wings.
Stilsons as sceptres! Copper - king of life!
Tubes defeat odes in times when thirst is rife
Oh Lord preserve us from bad plumbers. Those capillary fittings are the cheapo version where the solder is applied by hand, usually to excess. The posh version already has a ring of solder inside the fitting which flows when the joint is heated working more efficiently and producing a neater looking job/
ReplyDeleteWonderful, Robbie! Good sonnet.
ReplyDeleteSir Hugh: You sound like an update of one of Father's better anecdotes: that Tailor and Cutter magazine used to send a reporter to the Royal Acadamy's show to criticise the paintings in terms of what the subjects were wearing.
ReplyDeleteCrow: Yours was the comment I was after. I remember you - very bravely - posting a photo of some inventive plumbing repairs you'd done. I felt that if you could open up your heart in that way, I might do the same.
I read your sonnet out loud at breakfast. It sings! (Even though I still have a croaky, post-laryngitis voice, which perhaps lent it a bit of soldering drama.) At first, I thought you'd included a photo of a wort chiller, which is traditionally formed of copper. You see, even in the morning, it doesn't take much to turn my thoughts to quality ale.
ReplyDeleteRW (zS): It sang did it? That's odd. I tried to to re-create my own reasons for putting together this sonnet and was hard-pressed. Satire seems closest. But I suppose musical satire does exist.
ReplyDelete