I've tackled happiness before. At best it's of very short duration, more often self-delusional. Getting into a warm bath, for instance, may require one first to be tired, cold, and/or injured; the result is not true happiness but merely the status quo renewed.True happiness must be more than mere relief; it must involve the intellect as well as the senses. I have cited arriving in New York knowing there was work waiting for me in Pittsburgh; this after a campaign that had absorbed me for over a year, and an urge that had been latent since childhood. But was it true happiness, given I'd planned for it? Wasn't it simply success? Might true happiness be unexpected in order to grab at the emotions as well?
Progress in singing invaded my thoughts, my emotions and my physical self. It was acutely personal and, given my age, unexpected. Happiness? There is no other word. But I may have flogged it to death in Tone Deaf.
As an adolescent male I felt unloved in Bradford my birth city. A walk with VR through autumnal mists towards Amersham in Buckinghamshire laid those ghosts to rest. Brought the misery to an end. Happiness with a sense of fruition - all the more poignant since, in the tiniest sense, it felt undeserved.
Might my long life have, on balance, been happy? The idea is untenable because of smugness. Plus banality, for who would want to admit to an unhappy life?
I conclude that true happiness, meeting all the above criteria, is rare and may never happen. But the human spark says that it may and this is enough. One rule of thumb is surely it must not be actively sought.
I think happiness is fleeting for the vast majority of us. It is a potent feeling. We spend much of our lives searching for it, trying to capture the rush. As well we should. However, if we could manage to capture it, we'd probably accomplish nothing in our lives thereafter.
ReplyDeletePittsburgh must have been a hardscrabble city back in the day. What were your first impressions upon arriving there?
Happiness and other sorts of elevation appear when they choose to appear, don't they? But we can chase meaning, as you do in words and notes.
ReplyDeleteColette: I realise that the Declaration of Independence commits US citizens to, inter alia, the pursuit of happiness but surely this is always doomed to failure. If we knew what happiness was we'd be for ever kidding ourselves we'd found it. And we'd be fibbing. To be real, happiness must arrive unbidden.
ReplyDeleteHardscrabble. Excellent word. In fact Pittsburgh always felt like a home from home in the way that Philadelphia never did. First its magnificent geography - coming to a point at the confluence of the Allegheny and the Monogahela. Second its hilliness. Third the name of the sleepy and leafy suburb in which we lived - Dormont. Fourth, home of the "Jewish Y" - where I heard much first-rate music (Isaac Stern, Nathan Milstein, etc) Fifth, its drama - the proprietor and the MD of the company I worked for were respectively German and Jewish; the words Nazi and Kike floated up the stairs as they argued. Sixth, its terrific yet inexpensive restaurants, notably Klein's for lobster. Seventh, the attitude of the kids to our kids (this was at the time when the Beatles were popular). Eighth, the women (often voluptuous) who commanded me: "Just talk."
I could go on and have, in Tone Deaf and its predecessor Works Well. Here's one example (there are others):
http://ldptonedeaf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/walk-5-pennsylvania.html
Our first address 3214 Annapolis Avenue was the first residence I lived in with central heating. I cannot type Annapolis without feeling sentimental. And, don't forget, the previous five years I'd lived in and around London.
Marly: Defining things sounds like a humdrum task; but it's both difficult and vital. So many people, asked for the meaning of a word, lapse into vague analogy.
As much as I think I can relate to your post my happiness seems to be a different affair altogether.
ReplyDeleteI admit that I never felt a desire to seek or search for "true" happiness.
The happines I experience throughout my days is quite sufficient and often appears out of the blue. Of course there are the key moments like the birth of my child or watching a loved one waking up but today it was the silver band of the river watched from the hills above through frosty air that filled me with happiness from head to freezing toes.
Applying paint with palette knife or brush to a canvas while simultaneously looking intently at something or someone which is gradually appearing on the canvas in an interpretation of the effect it is having on me = Happiness.
ReplyDeleteClimbing a tree, or riding a horse bareback as a child = Happiness
Dancing to irresistibly rhythmical music, anytime = Happiness
Making love when in love = Happiness
Being singled out and chosen (for whatever honour or prize) = Happiness
I could go on!
Sabine: I realise I was generalising, in effect laying down the law. These were specifics that applied to me, and I was trying to be as precise as I could, to reach the definable spirit. The sight of your river may have induced happiness, but weren't you expecting it? For me that changes things. It has to be unexpected and you do say "out of the blue"
ReplyDeleteNathalie: The physical act of laying down paint is certainly persuasive; even more important, the intellect is engaged. But you imply that it always happens; that happiness can be turned on like a tap. To me that seems alien. I agree that such an experience would be rewarding but suppose the interpretation never arrived? Not all paintings are successful. Your rejoinder may be that you would at least be "travelling hopefully" but this involves qualifications.
You may have noticed I didn't include writing in my post, yet I must have written millions of words, some of which may have given me happiness. But I cannot see happiness as an intrinsic part of writing. In my own mind I was put upon earth to write; it's not even a compulsion, more like breathing. Some days I breathe better than when I have a cold. Yes, and the sun makes a lovely pattern when it arises over the Malverns; I worry about happiness as a repetitive event but I admit this is a purely personal view. I prefer to think of happiness as a rarity. That enjoying something I experience regularly deserves another word: contentment perhaps. Satisfaction? The differences are subtle but luckily you and I are equipped to speak and write English and the English vocabulary is huge (esp. vs. French). It can accommodate subtlety.
Another difference of opinion. Is an argument just around the corner? I have tried my damndest to suggest and not to assert. The world hangs in the balance.
No argument Robbie! I too was only expressing a personal view and not asserting that happiness is what I say it is. Indeed, for me, it can be turned on like a tap because some things are triggers. For instance: the act of looking-and-painting or drawing from life always induces the feeling of happiness for me. The act itself, not necessarily the result. Whether I succeed in what I'm trying to achieve via that act is a different matter altogether. The 'performance' itself is a joy. Like dancing always is, for me. Defining happiness is probably always subjective. I'd say it consists of moments (of no specific duration) in which body, mind and spirit are in complete agreement.
ReplyDeleteNathalie: As the subject widens, other possibilities suggest themselves. We may experience happiness in anticipating an event that does not turn out to be happy; I think you imply this when you refer to a painting that is ultimately unsuccessful; ie, that foreplay is what counts! I don't think I should I should amplify this any further.
ReplyDelete