If the sect was less adamantine, more Home Counties, I'd accept the rationale that sciatica was proof God was working out his unknowable purpose. And leave it at that.
But as an atheist? Well, there are perhaps two options. The non-deterministic view would be that bad posture had led to a pinched sciatic nerve of which sciatica was a symptom; that I should put my physiological faith in drugs, osteopathy and stoicism. And reading well-plotted and tautly written thrillers.
A determinist view (there are several) might be that sciatica, in a wholly connected, entirely logical world, was the latest phase of my education. Viewed coolly it had arrived for the reasons given above but it was an encouragement to deconstruct my bad posture and bring about physical tranquillity through the application of pure reason.
A parenthetical point: atheism is simply a refusal to accept the supernatural. It cannot be preached, must not claim superiority and involves at least one logical flaw which the atheist swallows without protest.
Dennis Potter, an atheist (I’m fairly sure) playwright, dying from cancer, admitted he called the tumour Rupert - his left-handed tribute to the media baron Rupert Murdoch. Was anthropomorphising that unnatural growth a romantic (ie, non-logical) gesture? If not may I then christen my sciatica? There are several monstrously tempting names but I'm ignoring them and calling it Dan, author of the worst novel I've ever read (which wasn't, BTW, The Da Vinci Code).
I'm sorry you are in pain. I do admire your ability to think through it, to take that pain and make an interesting and informative post out of it.
ReplyDeleteChristopher Hitchens (another atheist) said: "To the dumb question 'Why me?' the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply: why not?"
ReplyDeleteI find that strangely sustaining. To view ill health as a punishment is a cop out in my book. Or rather: you will not find an answer if you go into that direction. In fact, let me tell you a secret: there is no answer. It just is.
There is a famous zen exercise whereby you are asked to feel not having a toothache, really feel it, over and over until you realise that you can only feel it the moment a toothache stops, and then barely and briefly.
Whatever. May Dan vanish overnight if possible.
Please recommend a well-plotted and tautly written thriller. I am disillusioned by recent ones and have lost all faith.
Colette: If you are in the writing business (And you ARE!) the urge to write should be more or less unstoppable. Not so much an affirmation of life, rather an extension of life. Back in 2015 I sought to demonstrate this:
ReplyDeletehttp://ldptonedeaf.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/before-blogging-read-this.html
What I didn't say was the urge to be read should be equally unstoppable. This is a lot more difficult to exemplify. I'll bear it in mind.
Thanks for the compliment.
Sabine: CH had to take a lot of flak when afflicted with terminal cancer; his inbox was full of I-told-you-so emails from Christians whom he had annoyed. All writing on behalf of God, but only the Old Testament version, the vengeful one. I admire the way these guys are able to switch from the NT to the OT whenever it suits them.
I'd love to be able to play the detachment game with pain but I need more tuition. One of the pleasures of old age is creeping beneath the duvets at round about midnight. Pain has screwed that too. Never mind, I'm 2 hr 17 min away from my singing lesson after a more or less sleepless night. There I will revel in Purcell.
"Well plotted and tautly written thriller". If you're really serious go to Marly Yeoman's blog, The Palace at 2 am, and read the very long comment I made on February 14 in response to her post A Symbolic World and the Children who Played at Slaughtering. If what I say whets your appetite I'll send you one of my RT novels. He's out of print these days.
"the urge to write should be more or less unstoppable." You seem to be able to turn your mind to and write about any subject (interestingly, too) RR. Even your pain is providing you with fodder for your pen (keyboard).
ReplyDeleteMelanie Reid, who is tetraplegic and confined to a wheelchair since a fall from a horse paralyzed her from the neck down, writes a column each week in The Times Magazine (Spinal Column - witty) which is always upbeat. This week she reflects on "what if", her final sentence being, "The road taken has compensations".
As to the "meaning of things"; if one takes the view that, in the final analysis, nothing really matters, then religion has no place. There is just the universe, proceeding magnificently and totally indifferent to the insects that inhabit its worlds.
Avus: The first half of my utterance you quote is missing. It reads "If you're in the business of being a writer..." However feel entitled to omit it. The proposition it offers is as mysterious as it appears simple and deserves a post all on its own. Which it will get from me.
ReplyDeleteYou might say I'm agnostic about religion, which is not the same as saying there is a possibility I might take it up. TS Eliot has best summed up the situation: the English are, in the main, irreligious but are endlessly fascinated by those who aren't. That's me except I don't distinguish in importance between god believers and, say, those who risk their lives in dangerous sports. Both are equally interesting (along with a lot of other things.
You cite Nihilism. This doesn't engage my mind other than as the basis of a series of predictable jokes - eg, a Nihilist, by definition, doesn't watch weather forecasts.
I expect your initial version of God would fit in quite well with the godly of 1690's Massachusetts Bay Colony...
ReplyDeleteI don't really agree with Avus that it's possible for you to "take the view" that nothing matters. Right now, something matters very much to you. Your pain says to you that something matters rather strongly. It insists that some things matter and so denies the whole concept that nothing matters.
On that same general topic of things mattering: whether you believe in God or do not believe in God, you have played a part and still play a part (however large or small) in the world's destiny. You have no idea what your life has meant to others, but you know that it has impacted others.
Dan does have options still, even though he's a force of chaos. How to put him in better order.... Lots of stretching? More PT? Weight loss? Interventional pain management? Or even nerve oblation?
Marly: Thus I might find myself re-enacting The Crucible, not one of my favourites.
ReplyDeleteNihilism is fascinating when subjected to: what happens next? Of answer came there none. The philosophy, if it can be thus identified, is inconsistent; communication is thought to be a non-starter but why then take time to come up with such a neat name which invites anyone with a few scratchings of Latin to start asking questions. Perhaps not answering questions reveals the nature of Nihilism.
Impacted on others. Yes, but only in a passive way, like a road linking Rochester with Oswego (Which once suffered a snowfall of 103 inches in 24 hours - heard on the radio during my second day in the USA. Simultaneous with International Falls, Minnesota, experiencing -47degF). In philosophical or absolute terms I may not know my effect on the world at large; but in probablistic terms I can make a fair guess. Small enough to qualify as data scatter. Bringing children into the world doesn't count - it's a shared project
Having said that I must in all honesty offer a shred of evidence to the contrary. One day while still employed I found myself talking to the editor of a magazine which made lots more money than mine; a likable guy who enjoyed status. I wasn't exactly fawning on him but it was obvious I held him in awe; at which he interrupted me: "I'll always remember what you said at the NUJ meeting (National Union of Journalist, our trade union) when the negotiations were getting sticky: there's only one thing worse than a pyrrhic victory and that's a pyrrhic defeat."
I'd said that at least two years before. I was truly astonished and underwent a then-my-living-has-not-been-in-vain moment. But this exception does not disprove the rule.
Nerve oblation? Phew! I've been feeling slightly better writing this re-comment.