It is not my intention to deride the Revival Movement Association but they made the first move. It was they who dropped a leaflet - Where will you spend eternity? - through my letterbox. I was struck by its tone and the relentless use of capital letters.First of all, it said, REMEMBER THAT THERE IS AN ETERNITY. That is certain. ... the fact stands.
I agree. I have no wish to quibble about falling short by a few billion years.
In the second place, the RMA continues, REMEMBER YOU MUST SPEND THAT ETERNITY SOMEWHERE.
I'm not so sure. Would a tin of ashes or a few bones disjointed by medical students (I've not made up my mind yet.) be suitable applicants?
OK, cut to the chase. In terms the RMA can understand I can guess my eternal destination ("a place of violence, misery and hate") but I'd like details about the alternative. Granted there will be "holiness, happiness and love" but that's it. I have a gut-feeling there'll be no telly but will there be pens and paper, will meditation be allowed, is there a book list? As Woody Allen said: "Eternity's a very long time, especially at the end." There will be choral singing but after a mere millennium the western canon will be all used up. Would this mean repetition?
I am told we cannot know the mind of God and I'm inclined to agree. Heaven will be a pleasant surprise. Tea and buttered scones overlooking a suburban lawn would be pleasant, but not a surprise. Donald Trump roasting on a spit would be a surprise but not pleasant. RMA offers another leaflet but requires my address. Actually I'm not that curious.
Nor me.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with these people? They are terrified of living and terrified of death, so they spend their waking hours slipping fear into the mailboxes of strangers? It seems to me there should be a law against it. I have seen signs on houses next to the entry door saying "No solicitors or proselytizers allowed."
ReplyDeleteSir Hugh: Well you read the post right through to the last sentence.
ReplyDeleteColette: I felt an immediate desire to call your comment "pawky". Fearing you might take this the wrong way (Porky? No, no, I've always imagined you slender as a wand.) I double checked and was relieved: "Having or showing a sardonic sense of humour" covers 75% of what I had in mind but add in too "unexpected" and "deliberately taking a minority viewpoint" and you get the full flavour of what I intended as a compliment.
I particularly like "terrified of living and terrified of death", an admirable compression of "only able to face up to the inevitability of death by clinging to the thought of bon-bons raining down in another existence". Also there's the smugness. I take it you and I believe (nah, that's too strong; how about "accept") - so, accept that our post-mortem existence can only be through the effect we've had on others. A salutary matter for those of us who are parents.
The sign you saw would not work in the UK. There, a solicitor does not solicit he/she is a slightly minor form of attorney. If we were to prohibit people by trade the list would be enormous with journalists, whorehouse managers and estate agents (realtors to you) numbers one, two and three.
Also how many people know exactly what "proselytise" is, or can even pronounce it? It must have been a hoity-toity part of town.
Well, I see they (I don't think we have such people, unless they are called by some other name here) have their J. K. Rowling license to shout in caps! Very law-abiding.
ReplyDelete