When I acquire something new it's become old, not worth talking about. But Occasional Speeder bought an expensive chiminea in terracotta and the wind blew it over, smashing it irreparably. My Hacienda chiminea is metal, cut-price at Tesco and I had to assemble it. The rivet-headed screws were a bugger and Hereford seems devoid of self-tightening washers.
I think OS's chiminea was intended to warm the family drinking mulled wine at ten below. Mine is functional. It did the job last night but I was careless, tossing in glossy out-of-date Wine Society brochures which turned the flames to smoke.
Yes, I know, we're supposed to recycle waste paper and I do most of the time. But what about bank statements, credit-card accounts, and intimate reports from the hospital? One day I came upon VR quietly cursing at a huge pile of paper as she cut off the bits with the secret info. Shredding? My shredder was a gift (for which I was grateful) but it only does four sheets at a time. Otherwise it jams.
There are incidental benefits. VR is a latent pyromaniac and regrets the passing of open fires in the UK. She was quite free with instruction as I stoked the Hacienda until we both calmed down, she with her G&T, me with a beer.
The neighbours? Next door admitted he did the same. With more planning (No brochures for one thing) and crumpling paper into balls, the bi-monthly burn should be over in ten minutes. After all, some garden waste is incinerated.
I have one of those and only used it once a long time ago when daughter Jill was visiting. We were burning the off-cuts of tanalised decking timber but gave up after a while due to the obnoxious smoke. Later I mentioned this to my friend who has a degree in chemistry and he was appalled. "That tanalised stuff has all sorts of stuff in it, arsenic, mercury..."
ReplyDeleteI recently saw somebody advertising similar off-cuts on our local Arnside Seek and Sell website suggesting the stuff as firewood and I sent them a friendly note of caution but had no response.
I shred with glee. And like you my shredder only takes a few sheets at a time and I keep overdoing it, but even so I find the activity quite therapeutic.
I, too, shred (maximum 2 sheets per feed). However my council will not accept shredded paper as "recycling" - it has to go out it the "refuse" bin.
ReplyDeleteSir Hugh: Our minds must run differently. When my shredder jams I become unjustifiably enraged - in need of a therapy to ameliorate such rage and they are hard to come by.
ReplyDeleteI have used the Hacienda a second time, this time more carefully. As I mentioned I am OK as far as smoke generation is concerned with one close neighbour, but I haven't talked to the other. The smell of burning paper is not, I assume, anything like that of burning tanalised timber but it is not particularly pleasant. Mildly acrid I'd say. I have wondered whether it could be disguised if I chucked in a few acer cuttings.
Avus: Sometimes I feel myself beset by the regulations associated with recycling. Do the very thin, highly flexible, plastic display cases for custard doughnuts (A secret and inexcusable pleasure. Don't tell me they're edible junk; that's the attraction!) go into the green bin or the black? - I dither for minutes over this. Recently I had to get rid of a guinea-fowl carcase. I wrapped it carefully in a plastic bag but failed to put this into one of the larger black bags that go into the black bin. With a persistence (and perversity) that still astounds me the garbage man dug his way into the bin, detected the illegal bag, and chucked it and its decaying contents into the gutter. There I was - a suburban sinner, the proof for all to see.