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Monday 3 February 2020

Blushing violets need not apply

I’m not one for old things. Notably cars, houses (especially with “character”), cast-iron bedsteads and cooking pans, bone-handled table knives, wooden ladders, AGAs and/or open fires, trilbies and unsmart TVs.

I’ll make exceptions for certain paintings, Bordeaux wines, flagstones, trees (but on other people’s properties), most Ealing comedies and Lloyd Loom furniture.

Which brings us to doorbells. I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried. Spent scads of money. Embraced modern technology. But I’m on the verge of acquiring a brass wind-up activated by a button which pushes a rod which releases the spring.

Straight off, let’s not talk batteries. Not the tiny sort which help transmit wi-fi signals from the outdoor pushbutton to a receiver/loudspeaker which plugs into the hall ring-main. Nor those bulbous ones which need meters of wire and eventually discharge a white powder which must be toxic.

VR and I are both going deaf. We need a system that is loud and stays loud. What we don’t want is some electronic wonder that secretly defaults to the lowest volume when no one’s looking. Apart from anything else, what’s the point in having a quiet doorbell? Or one where the button is vulnerable to the elements.

We both buy things online. Hereford is not a shopper’s paradise, other than for sausages. We are regularly on tippy-toes for white-van man who frequently requires added guidance. Hence the pic.

If white-van man rings the doorbell and it merely whispers he’s apt to get inventive. Of course they’ll find the package attached to the top branch of the prunus. Or in the garbage bin. We’d prefer to take it from his hands over the threshold. Our doorbell must be extrovert, prepared to bellow out its business.

The wind-up I’m considering is Made In Britain. Is that an advantage?

7 comments:

  1. Oooh; made in Britain? How about a scaled down version of Big Ben? I like that sound.

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  2. You need a dog. Or one of these door bells that have a flashing light. Dog could be more work.

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  3. Your description made me think pf somethingl ike a hand-grenade and when that spring activates the whole thing exploding in a shower of brass shrapnel. Good luck.

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  4. I hope you find something that will alert you to someone at the door. I like Sabine's idea of a dog. They are incredibly reliable. I'm looking forward to reading about what you end up with. Good luck!

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  5. Crow: Big Ben isn't functioning at the moment; they're renovating the House of Commons and the work won't be finished within my lifetime. No doubt I could find a recording but the whole idea of using a clockwork bell is to free myself - at this part of the house at least - from electricity.

    Sabine: Never in this world. Chez Robinson is not cano-centric. Apart from the fact that I'd probably be out walking the wretched pet when white-van man called, there is the another obligation rigidly enforced on our estate: the picking up of dog-dirt and the disposal thereof. Yes, I know it's all a matter of carefully manipulating an inside-out plastic bag but I have a deep antipathy towards the squidginess of dog-doo even when I know it cannot come into contact with my hand. Looking after younger daughter's Cairn for short periods - until it conveniently snuffed it - was quite enough experience to reinforce our decision to maintain our house as a dog-free zone.

    Sir Hugh: Your flight of fancy has led to one of my own. In an endless chain, white-van man delivering a grenade-doorbell to replace the one he had just exploded.

    robin andrea: Yes dogs are reliable - to do all the sort of things I don't want them to do. Only if I were to participate in Alaska's Iditarod 1000-mile sledge race (don't hold your breath) would I consider four-legged propulsion. Even then I'd probably cheat and install a hybrid system.

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  6. Power it from the mains - ours has been linked thus and has been reliable for 22 years. (The house was already wired up as far as the front door when we bought it, new.

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  7. Avus: The last three systems were powered from the mains as I said ("...a receiver/loudspeaker which plugs into the hall ring-main."). To avoid piercing the newly installed doubly-glazed front door and/or jamb I have used outdoor bell-pushes which transmit wireless signals to the mains powered receivers. These work although their batteries do need replacing..

    The problem is the volume levels of the loudspeakers are (as I say) variable and seem, inexplicably, to default down to the lowest level, possibly dependent on usage. The volume levels can be increased manually but checking them and adjusting them regularly is a supreme irritation.

    The disadvantage of the mechanical ringer is that I will have to pierce the door to accommodate the activating rod. I'd prefer not to do this (for reasons I can't entirely explain) but I may have to.

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