Unless you have immersed yourself in the Tour de France for sixty years, as I have, you tend to think of it as just a long bike race. It is far more than that. More like a monstrous game of chess lasting three weeks and played on a 643,803 km2 board (ie, the area of France) where each of the 180 pieces (ie, riders) carries a unique number representing the cumulative time gap between him and the leader. The leader’s gap being, of course, zero seconds.
At any one time six or more separate stratagems between individuals and groups of individuals may be being played out. And…
But enough of that. Chances are you are now too old to understand.
Live TV coverage of the Tour, sometimes starting as early as midday, is available on ITV4, an obscure channel I never otherwise visit, Here’s my confession: I watch the whole stage each day, a glorious benison of retirement.
Neighbours and acquaintances erect new fences, order house extensions, garden til the sun goes down, experiment with cakes, moan about being separated from their family, and even go for bike rides. I loll on the couch, read The Guardian during the commercials and avidly follow each tiny variation in the state of the race. Assisted by a six-man team of expert and wholly articulate multi-linguistic commentators. As France’s natural beauty – lovingly caught by helicoptered cameras - unscrolls on the screen.
This inertia is bad for me. It’s probably shortening my life. I should be up and erect, doing things that have visible conclusions and are approved by society in general. Frankly, I don’t give a toss. VR also watches. My daughters loved seeing part of a stage for real in 2018.
Not a toss, I say.
So I take it that you enjoy the event?
ReplyDeleteTom: Nah, just kidding. As Tykes do.
ReplyDeleteI say enjoy your guilty inertia and watch every second of it. Quality of Life versus Quantity, after all.
ReplyDeleteBohemian: I don't exactly feel guilty watching the Tour. In some respects I feel superior to those who believe they must be up and about, doing things and changing the world around them; saying in effect, that this is the only valid proof they are not being overwhelmed by the onset of old age. Understanding what is happening in the Tour is quite complex and represents an intellectual challenge; exercising our brain, as opposed to picking up a spade, is an equally relevant way of telling old age to ---- off.
DeleteI've never watched it, but I have heard of it. It sounds like quite a race that goes on and on and on. Enjoy your guilty pleasures.
ReplyDeleterobin andrea: Some folk, otherwise utterly irreligious, aspire to their own version of Calvinism in which all forms of pleasure should - by right - lead to guilt. That it is only by being serious one can expect to go to heaven. And, by implication, heaven is a serious place.
ReplyDeleteAs an atheist you should occasionally take time off and try and imagine what heaven consists of. The more honest you are with yourself, the harder it gets. And the funnier.
My cycling mate, also 81, raced when he was younger (it never appealed to me, I toured)and, like you, follows it avidly, day by day.
ReplyDeleteI look in occasionally to keep up with it and to have the knowledge to be able to discuss it with him when we meet.
In some ways I am more interested in the motorcycles/scooters which follow and film it as I did do that for UK races, cameraman sitting backwards on my pillion as we swept by the pelaton to get to a front position.
Avus: Familiarisation. Each year the burden of identifying even 20 riders seems at first onerous. But after three weeks it's amazing how much this number has swelled. Obviously that's without the help of Ned, Matt, David, Peter, Chris and Gary.
DeleteI take it you managed your motor-biking without dislodging any of the contestants. I'm always astonished about the philosophical attitude of the victim riders (more often it's cars that are at fault) when this happens. Back on the bike with the most fearful (and extensive) areas of tarmac burn and on to join the peloton.
What I also enjoy is the internationalism of the event and of course the scenery.
Yes, always an interesting "sporting" event especially from a pharmaceutical viewpoint. Has become somewhat complicated to watch as no national TV is covering it any longer due to (gasp!) doping.
ReplyDeleteSabine: Oh, thou Cassandra of unwanted reminders, oh thou triumphant unveiler of athletic clay feet. Yes, it was hard to take since my enthusiasm even pre-dates Lance Armstrong. And Germany has done pretty well in this year's TdF but maybe you'll say they are actually Hessians. But if I am able to swallow the indigestible camel that is Wagner (and have done so), I dare say I can come to terms with the gnat that is drugging in the TdF.
DeleteYou'll be pleased to know that my local brewer is an avid watcher of the TdF and has managed to regale me with tales over ales.
ReplyDeleteI watched a 20 minute highlight reel every day. Shocking in the end - I've been a Roglic fan for a few years. Seems like a nice fella. And so does Pogacar. I'm glad it was a decisive victory, and not down to a few seconds.
ReplyDelete