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Friday 21 August 2020

It exists therefore it stays


Things we cannot bear to throw away always have a story attached. And the story may reveal what sort of person we are.

Here’s a can of Red Bull energy drink which was bought in France. Its slogans have more charm than if they were in English: Formule Taurine (The Bullish Recipe or, more digestibly, The Bullish “Way”) and Vivifie le corps et l’esprit (hardly needs translating). The sell-by date is July 7 2011.

Why, you will ask it, did I buy it? Well, the journey from our part of England (confusingly called The Welsh Marches) to our regular French holiday area (Languedoc) is a long one and I share the driving with younger daughter, Occasional Speeder. The French autoroutes warn about driving when tired and we decided to test a collection of energy drinks prophylactically. Excellent idea. That is, until we started tasting and quickly decided a vacuum flask of black coffee would be preferable. I don’t think we got as far as the Red Bull.

Why don’t I throw it away? Well, it’s full and still unopened. Also it was brewed in Austria and foreign stuff often costs an arm and a leg in France; I can’t bear the waste.

But nor can I handily store it. Non-alcoholic drinks (for guests, of course) are kept in the garage on racking surmounted by free-standing pyramids of cans. Red Bull’s can is narrow and would slip through the racking slots. It is also too long to form a stable element in one of the pyramids.

One may add liquor to an energy drink which seems like a double whammy: diluting the booze and undermining the energy drink’s health claims.

I can’t give it away because of the sell-by date. So it presently acts as a paperweight. Time passes.

9 comments:

  1. Best use for it. Red Bull is disgusting.

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  2. I tried it once and came close to projectile vomiting.

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  3. Tom/Sir Hugh: You have the drop on me with regard to Red Bull. But I'm surprised at both your deep-seated antipathies. We tried three or four other competitive marques and all were insufferably bland. To the point where it was impossible to believe they would exert any effect at all, let alone a beneficial one.

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    1. The point about Red Bull is that t contains some kind of ingredient akin to pseudo caffeine which for me induces a nauseous feeling.

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    2. I would add that I have no problem with the strongest ground coffee.

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  4. I can't even think about what I can't bear to throw away or sell off revealing what sort of person I am! *LOL* A can of Red Bull is an interesting specimen of a Keeper tho', perhaps the Memory of that trip is sparked by a glance at the Paperweight. I always love a good Memory with a great Story attached.

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  5. Robbie! What a wild post! I didn't know what to think upon viewing the photograph. The guy I work with drinks three of these daily and then goes to the gym. I don't even know how to classify him.

    "Non-alcoholic drinks (for guests, of course)" ... when I visit you one day, I hope you do not categorize me as a "guest" ... !

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  6. Red Bull is Austrian, says it all (I was born in Bavaria).

    Seriously, the red bull ad for years was "red bull gives you wings" and if I remember correctly, there was a lawsuit in the US to proof that this was not true. Cost them dearly, those Austrians.

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  7. Bohemian: We've been travelling from Hereford to the Languedoc for over a decade for our June/July holidays. In fact, tiredness only made itself felt once, about five or six years ago, and then we were returning to the UK. One is always more vulnerable at the end of a holiday. It is clear from your blog and the interweaving of all those photos that you and the garbage can have only a glancing relationship. The main thing is to avoid getting dragged down by nostalgia.

    Zu Schwer: I doubt whether I know anyone who drinks Red Bull although I have to confess I am an avid fan of Max Verstappen as the only challenger to the all-conquering might of Mercedes. Can you work that out?

    Sabine: Your link with Bavaria is news to me and I can see why there might be an antipathy towards that neighbouring state you mention.. Many innocents think Austria is no more than the gingerbread architecture of Vienna but those whose memories go back a little are reminded of Jörg Haider. Those who plead Mozart (I've done it myself) are in fact copping out on the political front, although it's also news to me that Salzburg was then in the Holy Roman Empire. Thanks for this slant.

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