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| Ian is in his thirties and 6 ft 4 in. |
Large parts of my waking day are repetitive. Up, shave, help VR wake, wash and dress, guide her to the Stannah Stair Lift, downstairs to her favourite chair, dole out pills, visit Tesco for essentials (esp. The Guardian), prepare simple meals, trawl the streaming services for a movie we both can stand (often the most demanding part of the day), then back to the Stannah. In between she reads and I write/sing.
Yesterday was different: her birthday with lunch at The Three Horseshoes. Although VR is mobile round the ground floor of the house her new wheelchair increases her range of operations. At the pub we pushed a conventional chair to one side and she sat at the table in her wheelchair. Much more comfortable.
However, the last fortnight she and I were, as it were, on holiday. Quite frankly we lolled and did bugger-all. Grandson Ian, over from Luton, cooked all the meals (much more adventurously), did the shopping, managed the booze – all this while getting up at the crack of dawn, walking to the gym (about three miles), doing goodness knows what exercises, and walking back. In between, chastising me in a horribly censorious tone of voice for my over-casual attitude to domestic chores.
Yet to come: an extended birthday-dinner out arranged by daughter Occasional Speeder, staying overnight at her house. Ian then returns to Luton and his mother, Professional Bleeder, comes here to Hereford and takes on Ian’s duties for another fortnight.
Moral summary. During 63 years of marriage VR bore most of the parental burdens. Journalism (a job I really enjoyed) meant I was away a lot. Now our responsibilities are reversed and the kids chip in. Though I hardly deserve it, I accept my new lot without resentment. I feel very lucky. I am lucky.
Good man, Ian!
ReplyDeleteSabine: Exactly, although we profit from the way the others have also gathered around. By the way I just discovered that Ian is closer to forty than to thirty and am quite disturbed by this. A grandchild almost on the threshold of middle-age; confirmation - if any were needed - that I am very very old.
DeleteThe use of wheelchair at a restaurant could solve a frequently encountered problem by me. So many establishments have you sat at a chair lower down in relation to the table and instead of attacking your repast from slightly above, which is the most comfortable, I find myself sort of reaching uncomfortably upwards.
ReplyDeleteSend my good wishes to V. please.
Sir Hugh: There's a further advantage: the wheelchair has arms and footrests, both of which help promote relaxation. We are working at familiarising VR with this new device since this year we will be holidaying in a different area in France (the heart of the very serious wine country) and will be forsaking the Tunnel for the longish ferry crossing from Portsmouth to Caen. As Ian has said, "We wouldn't want Gran using the wheelchair for the first time on the crowded - and, possibly, heaving - deck of a vessel." I am passing on your good wishes.
ReplyDeleteYou are, indeed, lucky.
ReplyDelete