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Tuesday 31 March 2020

Fear of nothingness

A person I know and admire asks "What shall I say?" faced with space to fill and only one real topic dominating the ether. I sympathise. As an ex-magazine editor that question lay at the heart of my job. More than once I idly wondered (I was good at that) what would happen if one month I put out a mag with twenty-five blank pages among the ads. The answer was depressingly obvious. On three occasions during 44-plus years, because of market forces, I was made redundant. The blank pages would have led to a fourth redundancy (and not because of market forces).

Actually I exaggerate (I was good at that, too). Subjects often cropped up, it merely remained to research them and write them. But there was one regular exception. As editor, I had an editor's page where I was free to say more or less what I wanted. And it was on that page I sought to create the magazine's "character" - a numinous project if ever there was one. Yet it worked. Within a tiny, nigglingly defined industrial circle I was sort of famous. What you read in Tone Deaf (and before that in Works Well) is me trying to get used to not being famous.

And there were times when the prospect of a blank space on the editor's page loomed horribly. I couldn't, of course, make do with 250 words on Wines I Have Liked or many more words on Women Who Have Turned Me Down, there were limitations. The cupboard was bare, I had to grit my teeth and – damnit! - think. No one ever said writing was easy.

To that friend I mention above I would say: when there’s nothing in the cupboard go ahead and invent.

As I’ve done here.

6 comments:

  1. Ah yes, we are all facing cupboards going empty these days, literally and figuratively. I like how you filled this space. Well done!

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  2. I have often sat and looked at a blank page when writing blog posts, but once the first senetence goes something strange seems to happen and things develop from nowhere. I will forestall your comment - "yes, and it shows." But seriously, some of what I consider to have been my best posts have happened that way.

    There is an item on the BBC News today about Jay Blades, the host of The Repair Shop and the quote below is partly relevant to your post and something I have tried to do myself - that is, if there is something you don't like doing, but perhaps you are forced to do, try and get good at it.

    "After leaving school at the age of 15 with dyslexia and no qualifications, Blades did a succession of what he calls "little jobs". But at the age of 30, he decided to go to university.
    "I wanted to set myself a challenge of doing something that I didn't like, which was school," he says. "

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  3. robin andrea: Ever hear of a feuilleton? In the olden times when typesetting was based on "hot" metal, corrections and additions were a laborious process. It was also quite difficult to assess exactly how many column inches an article would come to. Feuilletons were mini-articles already set in type added to a larger article which hadn't quite made it to the bottom of the column. Le feuilletonist, c'est moi." Otherwise one of those guys at Amazon who stuffs up the gaps in a cardboard box with crushed paper to make the china cup doesn't rattle about and smsh. It's an honest trade but mine own.

    Sir Hugh: The trouble is you can't rely on that kind of impulse: you may be faced with something you desperately need to communicate (said in a certain way) and the tap may simply utter a hissing noise.

    Whereas I like Repair Shop I don't think it needs Jay Blades. He seems stilted; it's the others, confident in their skills, who give the programme its glow. All very masochistic doing something he didn't like; why didn't he perfect something he did like?

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  4. As always you do me down, and Jay Blades who managed to make something of his life from a poor start - he is somewhat restricted by the format of the programme I suppose, but he appeared on the One Show the other night and was surprisingly more articulate and interesting. Of course most times I have the framework of what I am going to say - here I am only describing the occasional blank slate situation.

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  5. Sir Hugh: Have I really put you down? I'm truly sorry about that. But you raised the subject. Perhaps I read the newspapers too much. Initially Repair Shop appeared obscurely and I'm led to believe it had a loyal but small following. It was then re-transmitted daily and that's when it started to catch a wider audience (as in my case). Encouraged the BBC has given the new series the second-best time slot at 8 pm and this success got reported. Since Blades is a sort of anchor-man it was obvious he would be spotlighted. Interviews have appeared. I found this ironic since he seemed to be the weakest part of the programme. It's not that the others are solely interesting because of their skills, they all seem to be personalities, even the young guy who does the carpentry. I don't wish Blades any harm, wouldn't even want to see him changed. I was really reflecting on the irregularities of fame.

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  6. I was hooked from the very first programme and have followed it eversince. I did make similar comments to yours about JB verbally to friends and received not even acquiescence. Since I have read the same reviews I guess that you refer to, and seen him live on The One Show I have revised my opinion to some extent. I think somebody could write a good novel based on all the characters and their behind the scenes relationships, or perhaps a tv programme along the lines of Steve Coogan's stuff.

    Apart from JB's guest appearance he cropped up again. Paddy Mcguinness made an appearance and in his characteristic bull in a china shop manner manged to break the naff plastic coffee table. In the next programme there was a cut to JB at the back of the set repairing the table.

    I would add that I am not a huge fan of that show - it's far too noisy for one thing, but I'm too lazy to turn it off when it follows BBC News and North West Tonight , the latter wins awards for best regional news programme and it has become almost like family.

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