My theme is transition and I've 35 minutes to achieve it. V has brought forward my Skyped singing lesson; by 08.30 I will be warbling.
Not all transitions but that between in bed and out of it. Most of us leave bed reluctantly especially in winter. Who would willingly swap the duvet for a frosty morning? Well, there are such stoics and I wish them luck.
Those who let others do their thinking refer to an earlier transition - from the womb and into an uncertain world. A facile parallel. We leave the womb unthinkingly, the object of our reflexes. Many remain in this state for the rest of their lives but I try not to. For me the transition must be an adult sensation.
For those who have yet to pass through middle age I have an unpleasant revelation. As the years go by the act of getting dressed becomes more and more of a burden. Wheezily concertina-ring the stomach in order to pull on our socks. Hovering out of balance as we thrust our left leg down the left trouser slot. But without - this is a matter of honour - clinging to the window sill.
Then there's light, blessed confirmation we haven't slipped into permanent darkness as we snored. Welcome light but the first seconds involve an assault that comes close to scorching our eyeballs. We blink. Our eyes water. We are pitiful.
The loo beckons, an essential waystation between sleeping and getting up. There's relief to be had there but also a mild shame. How is that this part of my anatomy plays the dictator so effectively?
By 07.48 I’d finished. MS Word counted 338 words. I did my warbling then wielded the axe. Down to 293. All’s well.
Well you could save 37 by cutting the last two mini paragraphs, RR.
ReplyDeleteShall not comment on you arising descriptions - they are all to very familiar to me!
Somewhere around mid April, when we get the first hint of flooky warmth I switch from longs to shorts. Your well identified problem of slotting ( a verb hilariously used by Nick Crane about his underpants) becomes just a little bit easier, but the risk of pitching forward ramming your head into the chest of drawers still marginally exists. But with advancing years we all know it aint going to get any easier.
ReplyDeleteAvus: You'll have to forgive my preferring surgery to butchery.
ReplyDeleteSir Hugh: You wouldn't if you wore support hose
We humans are such interesting creatures. Now I'm wondering how hunter/gatherers started their days. Was there enough food for breakfast? Was the fire still going? Will I be eaten by a lion on my way to the loo? Roger and I are very lazy. We have our first cup of tea and slice of toast in bed every morning. Then, we're ready for our first mile walk of the day. Never lions, and these days no cars.
ReplyDeleterobin andrea: I'm sure the Neanderthals were much more sophisticated than we give them credit. After all, a piece of slate from an upper valley in Libya and dating back beyond the Earthenware Age, was transcribed at the Smithsonian and discovered to be a crude but viable form of loyalty card: bargain over three rabbits and the customer joined the line for an annual award of a mammoth's tail. I understand historians at a mid-West college advanced a theory that one of the ancestors of the Walmart owners was linked with this scheme, though Berkeley has downplayed this: small scratchings on the slate reveal that the scheme was only available to residents of a tribal corral in what is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Given the distances involved the logistics problems would have been "phenomenal".
ReplyDeleteYou should be careful about doing your pre-breakfast nibbles in bed. It is said that Caligula instituted this practice during the winter months in Rome and you know how he ended up.
Roderick-- It's wonderful that you mentioned the Neanderthals. Something you don't know about me, I majored in Anthropology with a focus on Evolution back in the 1980s. I am a big fan of Neanderthals who have been much maligned over the years. There have been very thoughtful studies on their social behavior. I like thinking I'm related to them in some way. Although I have to say, I had no idea that Caligula and I had anything in common.
Deleterobin andrea: I worried that Americans might not know what a loyalty card was and/or that it was called something else at Walmart, Kroger and Giant Eagle. Then I bethought myself: would any shopper feel loyal to Walmart? It seemed unlikely.
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